one. "i like my roommate, he's easy going and doesn't like to make decisions. i like to make decisions and be in control."
two. don't call me grandma.
three. "why are do you like doing boy things?" are women not allowed to enjoy the outdoors? have you heard of equality? have you realized we're out of the 50's? did you not hear i'm the oldest and i have no brothers? i wear pink now on occasion and wear lacy bras, honestly what do you want out of me?
four. "there are just fat girls in my congregation and they wonder why they're not married." never say this to a woman because a. most if not all women are semi-conscience of their weight b. even if they're not that self-conscience about their weight they have a friend or someone close to them that is overweight as you have just labeled yourself a burro.
five. when visiting an art museum and i ask the question, what are you thoughts on nudity in art? don't respond by saying, "no comment." what does that mean?
six. eating out... when in a large city don't take a woman from a lil' city that loves food to a chain fast food restaurant that is already in her small town. be adventurous!
seven. when going to an art museum, pay the extra $3 for the featured exhibit. recession or not $3 makes your date feel cheap if you don't cough up the extra few bucks.
eight. realize that obviously being divorced for only a month and a half is going to say a red flag to me.
nine. i appreciate men with dreams but i appreciate more motivated men. if you want something to happen have a plan! don't think that money is going to fall from the sky or try to convince me you've figured out how to become rich quickly. that is not attractive nor would i be involved with anyone who would fall for a pyramid scheme. learn to work like the rest of the "real" world.
ten. clean your bathroom before inviting a person you went on a date with recently to your home for dinner.
i could go on but i may need another blog to continue.
18 comments:
love it!! SO TRUE!!
While I am discouraged for you, your blog has brought me some much needed diversion from my term paper! It also makes me want even more to never have to go through another first date… other thoughts: 3. Outdoorsy and a lacy bra, what more could a man want? 10. My mp3 just shuffled to Screaming Infidelities “Your hair is everywhere…" How appropriate…
Eeek! That bathroom picture was gross. This was a great post.
Hilarious! My single LDS colleague at work was saying, "That's me. Me. Also me." Maybe you should teach a seminar.
Nice job, Jessie. I agree with the seminar suggestion or at least a pamphlet. Keep it real.
Wow. That toilet pic is really disgusting. Seriously, how do people live like that? Thank you for not marrying that person. Love you.
eleven. Take the money out of your birthday cards before paying for dinner. Although it is nice to know that your grandma and aunt love you, grownups use wallets.
(this is Jaimie) haha! great post, I'm sorry you had to deal with such losers. Wolfgang and I literally gasped when we read about the "fat girls" comment. What an idiot. One last thing, I completely agree about the motivation thing and what not, but then again....remember who you dated last. love you.
p.s., wolfgang (and I) agree that you should write a book, "What not to say" :)
Oh my.
Wow. Brilliant post, although I'm a little worried now about past dates I went on. But I guess the game is over now anyway. My favorite is the first one. Who SAYS that?
Wow. I agree, you should teach a class. Keep on keeping on.
I am drying heaving over that toilet. not a good visual for any woman....especially when pregnant. ewww, ewww, ewww........gross!!!!!
and I hope those were not actual things said to you. MORONS!
those were all actual things said to me. ALL
I have another one to add.
11. don't try to convince your date that she likes you or that everyone in the world is breaking some type of secret covenant by sticking out their tongues. :)
Jess i love you. if i were a man i'd be very good about what i say.
then again if i were a man i'd probably run away in fright myself...
nevertheless you are loved!!!
xo
Classic! Love it!
YOU are the reason I blog stalk...When I can't sleep, or when I am hungry, tired, sad, lonely or depressed.... I read your blog and count my blessings....seriously, you make me laugh! :)
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