in case you were wondering

i know some of you may wonder how to run/win a marathon

let me explain...

first you need to recieve the prep package

thank you danielle

next you need to have a runner photo above your bed

this ensures that your mind will imagine running throughout the night

lucky for me this is even a sticker

next be ready with a sweatband of your favorite color

obviously my favorite color is orange

also follow up with chafing neon x-large running shorts

when you train in these

they prep your legs for chafing on race day

and use body glide on race day

excessively

i didn't i had to get lubed up

at a medic station during the race

that woman with a popsicle stick

with of who knows what

vasoline?

she was my angel of mercy

new fancy socks

although on the day before the race

i got talked into the double lining sock

that was supposed to NOT give blisters

i'm a convert... borrow your sister's ipod

(thanks favorite!)

or if you're like the rest of the world

use your ipod for good beats

and to remind you that hip hop music is righteousget used to foreign objects on your shoes

in the race they track your time with this

hello 1984!

with all these helpful hints you can win

like me...

don't be jealous

just go run your own marathon!