dirty 30

after a slightly crazy week of my g-pa

in and then out of the hospital

we rang in my 30th year of life

as the clock ticked to midnight

by a bonfire at dry lake north of vegas ahh tender...
sparklers... legal in nevada
we were trying
to write i heart you...
you kinda get it...
right?
sparklicous
end of the night
i lapped the fire 30 times
we even danced with glowstick jewelry
who needs alcohol or drugs?
cousins and friends do the job.
other than that...
30 sounds old...
sad.
dirty 30

youth voices

one thing i love about my job
is being in a setting that respects
when youth speak

i've been multiple meetings in the past few months
when youth share their voice
or are asked on their observation or opinion
and a hush comes upon the group
because the youth speak truth
of what adults need to hear

it humbles adults
and the group gets strengthened
by the honesty, clarity, and forthrightness

i hope we all give opportunity
and value the strength and insight of our youth
and children for that matter

really i love when people feel empowered
to share their voice

this week i was humbled by
three youth at the governor's summit
on eliminating disproportionate minority contact
in the juvenile justice and child welfare systems
they spoke plain and clearly
on how we need to improve systems
i felt like we've failed them
and i moved me to action
on how to resolve some problems

last week four youth in lake county
that gave perspective of how they view the world
in their communities
they also shared their interest and desire
in being part of a mainly adult group
in resolving social issues

two weeks before that it three youth in jefferson county
silenced adults on what the "real" issues are currently
for youth in their school and area

give time and space to hear important voices
often the voices we don't think to ask
need to be at the table the most
adults (we) don't always know best
ask opinions of those
who we think we're supporting
more insight will be gained
go to the source
and don't presume anything

battle studies

dear john,

in being a devoted fan i just purchased your album yesterday on the release date.

i like what i'm hearing but i'm sorry to inform you that i'm not in the same mind set

to fully enjoy your album. you see, i've recently went through a break up myself but it wasn't as tragic, as it may needed to be, in order to enjoy your music with the intensity you put into it.

i, however, am grateful that it was a mutual-we're on the same page break up.

this rarely happens in the dating world where two mature individuals give it a good whirl,

realize it's not at the level both need and are able to give a good kiss at the end. it's beautiful to have warm thoughts for the other and not act awkward the next time they see each other.

AND still think the other person is exceptional and wishes the best for them.

in the past have i thought after a break up..."i want you so bad i'll go back on the things i believe." yes, but i didn't go back on things that i believe. i've had to be true to me. you may be at "the war of (your)my life" but i feel like i'm "at the door of my life." just wondering what will happen next. just trying to be patient until then.

if this album is about jen, she's not worth it. and as you said in a live recording before you sang the song "love song for no one" it's one of my mantras "maybe they're rollin' around in the hay with someone else, but they're not as good as you'll be...you just have to wait your turn. she's out there, he's out there, they're just learning what to contrast you against."

as one of my dear old guy friends asked me on the phone the other night if i'm tired of dating, i replied no. it isn't the easiest thing in the world. while my friends lose sleep over their new babies or multiple children, i lose sleep over the wanting to stay with a person... a lil' longer to be with them and get to know them just a little more. it's like you're a teenager all over again and can't get enough of a person. like the neko case song, "i'm holding on to that teenage feeling." there's days when an old friend may say... "just move here and we'll get hitched and make desert babies" and it tempts me... but i have faith it will work out for the both of us in the end.

yours truly,

me

cheers to nyquil

after a monday night full of coughing
and a lack of sleep
last night's dose of nyquil
was heaven sent
i successfully almost slept till 11 a.m. this morning

no i don't have the swine flu
and yes i've heard of the swine flu
even without owning tv

i 've been on the edge of being sick
and i think working two 14-15 hours days
last thursday and friday
sentenced me to being sick at home for the weekend

monday and tuesday
i've been in portland town for work
it never ceases to be a magical town with bridges
that frame it very picturesque

but today i'm resting...
with maybe a bit of work in the middle.
i need to shake this thing!

the worst part has been missing un-rainy days
saturday was nice
and today is sunny
that's what drives me crazy the most
by this weekend
i must be over this

chewy simply oj
puffs plus with lotion
and the new john mayer album
should help

a review on the album to come

kait to the rescue

this week work was busy busy...

as it's been for a while

the holiday didn't actually help

in preparing for my work trip to paisley

but the holiday was enjoyed

by a great day in the temple

earlier in the week

i mentioned to my friend, kait,

that i was heading to lake county

a county we both serve

but in different departments in the state

she's been trying to find a time to come down and luckily for me

she could come with me on thursday

i worked in wilsonville all day thursday

then met kait in salem and headed to summer lake

around 4 p.m.

luckily willamette pass wasn't as bad as we thoughts it'd be

and i scheduled a 4 wheel drive this time in case of snow

instead of the hybrid i did last winter

and learned how to put chains on for my first time up santiam pass

i've been on the edge of getting sick

so it was so relieving to

a. have kait just come with me for the 6+hr drive

b. have company, and good company

c. she even drove most of the way which gave me more time to prepare

needless to say, i'm grateful

this is pretty much what paisley looks like...

cute town, good people from lake county

wanting to make a difference in their community

we met at the homestead restaurant

and switch up the old man but it looked just like this

with killer cinnamon buns and soup! kait even jazzed up the day

by doing some activities that moved the group,

(i was the boring one)

got them thinking and showed the great program

she runs for sexual education in the state

the driving to and fro in the dark

didn't allow for as many beautiful scenes hoping to be seen

but we got to see the starry night sky thurs night

and even got to hear coyotes right by the hotel.

eastern oregon is pretty magical

being sick= nothing magical

kait then saved the day yesterday too-

when i was changing the oil to my car

i already drained the oil

but found out i couldn't get the oil filter off

so she kindly picked me up

and i got a device that actually worked in loosening the filter

i just hope i didn't contaminate kait

or any of the rest i presented to

i realized i worked too much during the week

which made me sick over the weekend

not healthy.

new hair cut

as of halloween day

undead party