Wednesday, November 18, 2009

battle studies

dear john,
in being a devoted fan i just purchased your album yesterday on the release date.
i like what i'm hearing but i'm sorry to inform you that i'm not in the same mind set
to fully enjoy your album. you see, i've recently went through a break up myself but it wasn't as tragic, as it may needed to be, in order to enjoy your music with the intensity you put into it.
i, however, am grateful that it was a mutual-we're on the same page break up.
this rarely happens in the dating world where two mature individuals give it a good whirl,
realize it's not at the level both need and are able to give a good kiss at the end. it's beautiful to have warm thoughts for the other and not act awkward the next time they see each other.
AND still think the other person is exceptional and wishes the best for them.
in the past have i thought after a break up..."i want you so bad i'll go back on the things i believe." yes, but i didn't go back on things that i believe. i've had to be true to me. you may be at "the war of (your)my life" but i feel like i'm "at the door of my life." just wondering what will happen next. just trying to be patient until then.
if this album is about jen, she's not worth it. and as you said in a live recording before you sang the song "love song for no one" it's one of my mantras "maybe they're rollin' around in the hay with someone else, but they're not as good as you'll be...you just have to wait your turn. she's out there, he's out there, they're just learning what to contrast you against."
as one of my dear old guy friends asked me on the phone the other night if i'm tired of dating, i replied no. it isn't the easiest thing in the world. while my friends lose sleep over their new babies or multiple children, i lose sleep over the wanting to stay with a person... a lil' longer to be with them and get to know them just a little more. it's like you're a teenager all over again and can't get enough of a person. like the neko case song, "i'm holding on to that teenage feeling." there's days when an old friend may say... "just move here and we'll get hitched and make desert babies" and it tempts me... but i have faith it will work out for the both of us in the end.
yours truly,
me

4 comments:

Jaimie said...

nice and enjoyable post. I've listened to the new cd once on a website before it came out to get your hyped for it, and now I'm just waiting to listen over and over again. Although, I'm not quite sure how I feel about him looking like a hollister model on his cover.

Jaimie said...

oh, I too am ashamed of him for who he has dated, and would like to think he was on something, but that doesn't make me stop lovin his music.

Sparklebot said...

I will not comment on the John Mayer portion of your post (I think you know my feelings about that Charleton), but I am sorry you had a break-up recently. No matter how mutual, they are tough.

And the only reason married people try to make single people feel bad about being single (consciously or unconsciously) is because being single is awesome. I'm glad you are enjoying it. Marriage isn't a fairy tale. It's hard. And, I'm glad your perspective is what it is. Single life is precious. Enjoy it while you can!

Juli said...

Well put. I'm glad you have a great perspective on life. Love you!